So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I had to cum in my sink.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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