just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
