Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Actions speak louder than pants.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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