yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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