If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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