Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
