I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
