I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
