All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just forgot I was standing up.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I am mentally ready for anal.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize