Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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