I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I don't deserve a penis
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
