We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
