Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
All the doctor said was why
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
