I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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