My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
