Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
