And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
