I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
