This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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