The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
