p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
