But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize