if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
