You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
