could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
