And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
