you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You smell like stripper and shame
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Randomize
