That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
