She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
