I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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