The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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