And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
