I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
