I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize