hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
