This girl is more easily done than said...
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
That's how pantless uber rides happen
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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