the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
