I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize