Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
