absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
this will be a night to untag.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
