Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
