we made out on top of his cat.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
