..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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