have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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