May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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