He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
