My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize