Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
