just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My liver just broke up with me...
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
