I want to stick my p in your. b.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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