It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
