I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
