So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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