My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
