Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
