I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
