Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Randomize
