I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
