it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
