Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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